Seinfeld made occasional reference to the Bizarro World, a DC comic creation in which Superman meets his equal but opposite self in an opposite world. A hilarious refresher below:
Jerry, I get you. I get you so much.
About 100 feet to the left of my building is my very own Bizarro Building.
The facade looks identical to my building, so much in fact that, on my first week in my new apartment, Roommate Rachelle, her fabulous sister Mia and I actually entered the Bizarro Building by mistake.
My key to the building didn’t work. Thinking I was just bad at opening doors (those dang East Coast buildings, am I right? …no, I’m not), we simply waited for someone to let us in. It took us a moment to realize something was… off about the place.
For one, I could have SWORN our mailboxes were to the left, and the painting of the rainforest was to the right. I also didn’t remember the elevator being that far over.
Finally, one of us put it together. I like to think it was me, but I get lost in far less ridiculous situations than this one, so probably not.
That was the last time we entered, or even passed, the Bizarro Building.
Until a few days ago on the day before Thanksgiving, that is, when I found a large box sitting outside of our door.
Surprised, I figured it must be Rachelle’s as I wasn’t expecting anything. It said Apt. 63, after all.
Except neither of our names were on the package. I read it over and over, first thinking it was someone’s down the hall, then assuming it was a previous resident of our apartment. After some inspection, I realized there was a single number off; then it dawned on me.
This must belong to my Bizarro self in the Bizarro Building.
I should explain something. Manhattan is cold right now for the very California girl. I’d also been working from home and was under no circumstances going to change out of pajamas now. Going outside when it was raining to deliver a heavy package to someone that wasn’t me was not exactly what I felt like doing.
But I liked to think Bizarro Valerie would have done the same for me. This package was also marked “ALCOHOL, MUST HAVE SIGNATURE FOR DROP OFF.”
A) Clearly that didn’t happen, and B) I figured Bizarro Valerie was probably purchasing this for a Thanksgiving party, so I should be nice and give it to her.
So I lugged the heavy box out the door while in my pajamas, walked down the street, and was lucky a Bizarro resident was leaving as I was attempting to enter.
After several months of not being here, I was once again stunned out how backward yet otherwise identical everything was. As I reached to the left to hit the elevator buttons, I saw nothing. The buttons were on the right. I turned to my elevator neighbor and said, “This came to me down the street. The buildings look so similar!”
She answered, “I’ve seen that, I’ve even heard there’s another one like this one street down.”
Another Bizarro Building?! I still can’t believe it.
Getting to the sixth floor, I instinctively wanted to turn right, where my own door would have been, but I’d been fooled enough and turned left. Finally, I got something correct.
Knocking and suddenly wishing I didn’t look like a crazy person with a giant box labeled ALCOHOL, Bizarro Valerie emerged.
I don’t know what I was expecting, but she didn’t look anything like me. I found this slightly disappointing.
I explained the situation and Bizarro Valerie thanked me for coming over with it. No thanks to Bizarro UPS guy, I thought.
If a couch ends up outside my door meant for Bizarro Valerie, I swear I’m not moving it.
Bizarro Valerie had a dog, by the way. I think that means she’s better than I am.
And that’s why The UPS Guy from the Bizarro World was my least favorite person of the day.
Source from here